On Radical Intimacy

Thoughts as I ponder what intimacy truly means to me.

I recently picked up the book “Radical Intimacy” by Sophie K Rosa. Intimacy has seemed to become a sort of buzzword in this stage of my life, with fellow friends and community members hosting Intimacy photo shoots and Queer Intimacy festivals that I’ve been lucky enough to experience and exist in. 

Yet, intimacy as a concept continues to feel puzzling to me. What exactly encompasses intimacy? Is intimacy sex? Is it not sex? Is it expressing our feelings? Or letting ourselves be fully and wholly seen? Where do we draw the line between what is intimate or not? 

Radical intimacy intrigued me. When we encompass a radical practice of any kind, we make it all-consuming. We approach situations from this act of radicalness, of burning fire, with a passion and a sense of urgency that gives a purpose to our social interactions. 

What can social interactions, therefore, look like when we cultivate radical intimacy? When I enter new and old situations fully allowing myself to be seen, heard, felt, touched, embraced, and accepted, for nothing other than being exactly who I am?

Letting yourself be fully seen is, unsurprisingly, terrifying. It creates space for full judgment of the self, for someone to read through you and pick out the flaws and the horrors. But why does our mind latch on to the fear when the rewards can be immeasurable? 

Radical intimacy allows someone to accept you as is. You are not hiding behind a facade, not averting questions or comments, not censoring yourself and your methods of expression. The veil drops there. You’ve got nothing to prove, nothing to hang on to. You are simply existing as yourself. 

And if a fellow being holds out a hand and says, “Join me - join me on this crazy stupid adventure,” an adventure that could be a conversation, a situational friendship, or a deep and loving relationship. 

How freeing can that feel?

So, I will embrace this radical intimacy because I’ve got nothing to lose but my pride, which, to be fair, I gave up sustaining a long while ago.

Picture by @micklin.i